i will not be the most coherent today and in fact i will ramble, but to some that is an art form so i suppose i'm in pretty safe territory. its a strange feeling to be caught in, sleepy but unable to sleep, feeling time stretch out to eternity and literally having no desire to do anything. yes, caught, like being ensnared by the slow passing of time. there is thunderous but relatively regular snoring going on in the background, but that is comforting, i think i have unconsciously synced my breathing to match it. analyzing the sound of snore though, snore is never quite constant, the little sudden hitches, or the particularly loud exhalation, obviously not regular enough to be a lullaby
flew in from singapore to doha, where i'm currently wasting away an 8h transit, before heading to new york. the concept of time difference intrigues me; i know there is a rational and logical explanation to all of this, but to my addled sleep deprived and fundamentally unscientific brain, the idea that time can pass and yet not pass, or that time can pass and yet you're back at 4pm, is mind-boggling. i have reached this point where i literally have no idea what time it is where i came from or where i'm about to head to; but given how slowly time passes to me anyway i figure it is too troublesome a concept to deal with right now
removed from social interaction with friends (someone i know calls this intercourse, i find this a strange and amusing word choice) i feel slightly empty. recently i have been very grateful for friends i know i can completely trust, or friends i know have the exact same perspectives as me when it comes to awkward topics. how i will fill this gap when i study overseas eludes me. i don't think i'm the kind of person that's particularly good at keeping in touch, which is in no way a promising prospect
recently i've made a pledge to be a less self-conscious person - yes, i am terrible self-conscious - because i realize how much that hinders possibilities
i feel like i'm writing in point form, gently broaching topics and zooming my way to new ones all the time. it has been ages since i wrote, and i figure writing does for me what i need right now, making sense of this strange void, or maybe just pretending to be introspective so i have some excuse for my inertia
flew in from singapore to doha, where i'm currently wasting away an 8h transit, before heading to new york. the concept of time difference intrigues me; i know there is a rational and logical explanation to all of this, but to my addled sleep deprived and fundamentally unscientific brain, the idea that time can pass and yet not pass, or that time can pass and yet you're back at 4pm, is mind-boggling. i have reached this point where i literally have no idea what time it is where i came from or where i'm about to head to; but given how slowly time passes to me anyway i figure it is too troublesome a concept to deal with right now
removed from social interaction with friends (someone i know calls this intercourse, i find this a strange and amusing word choice) i feel slightly empty. recently i have been very grateful for friends i know i can completely trust, or friends i know have the exact same perspectives as me when it comes to awkward topics. how i will fill this gap when i study overseas eludes me. i don't think i'm the kind of person that's particularly good at keeping in touch, which is in no way a promising prospect
recently i've made a pledge to be a less self-conscious person - yes, i am terrible self-conscious - because i realize how much that hinders possibilities
i feel like i'm writing in point form, gently broaching topics and zooming my way to new ones all the time. it has been ages since i wrote, and i figure writing does for me what i need right now, making sense of this strange void, or maybe just pretending to be introspective so i have some excuse for my inertia
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